Ok so last night my fiance asked me to go pick up some kd (yes kraft dinner ) at our local supermarket FORTINOS. As I pull in the parking lot I get cut off by some fucking idiot in a black ford truck wearing a fucking Italy jersey . Hey numb nuts hate to tell ya but Italy wasn't playing yesterday and second since when was it fucking cool for guys to wax the eye brows come on that's just ridicules.
So finally after the incident in the parking lot I made my way inside the supermarket,first I made my way to the salads and veggie section ,picked up some onion,tomatoes, you know the usual stuff that you can make a salad with. I decided to make an amazing Italian tuna salad not only is is refreshing but is really good for you. Now off to grab the KD and croutons no prob right , wrong. How hard is it to find Brown Berry oven seasoned Croutons well just to let all the men out there that are reading this blog know if your gonna go to FORTINOS to find them good fucking luck , I couldn't find these things for the life of me so I did what any other guy would do in my situation and ask a women but that int help me at all she was nice enough to help me look for the croutons but my luck just ran out because we couldn't find it ,but she was nice enough to point out a great package of low fat croutons (thank you so much ). Just a little hint guys if your woman sends you out to get a specific item do not come home with something else or you will never hear the end of it .
Ok finally Im in line to get the hell out of this store and in front of me is a very busty blond woman . I noticed that for her figure she really didn't eat that healthy , 3 bags of chips , 4 2litre bottles of pop and omg enough frozen dinners lady. (we all look at what the person in front of us in line is eating it is by habit don't you judge me you do it to) The cashier started to ring her food in and i noticed that there was a really bad smell in the air, so I started to smell my food ( maybe my lettuce went bad or tomatoes ) then I realized that the smell wasn't coming from my groceries but from the ass of a big busy blond lady in front of me . Ok i thought shes must feel so embarrassed because she farted right , but fuck come on who dosn't fart . I wasn't upset that she farted but when she did it she turned around and made this face like (OMG did you just fart face) . At this point I was totally confused so she ended up leaving and it was my turn to put my groceries threw thank God. The cashier looks at me with disgust and I realized that the look that the lady gave me worked on the cashier he thought I was the one that farted what was going on here was i being accused of something I didn't do . ( you got to be kidding me)
A word to the wise the next time your in line and someone farts and turns around giving you that disgusting stare like you did it YELL OUT BITCH DID YOU FART . haaaaaa before they put the blam on you.
